Dec
6
How am I supposed to get any real work completed when there is so much slacking off that must be done? I mean, hell, there is shopping to do, forums and email to be read, and (most importantly) blogs to write. Dammit, there is even bubble wrap that must be popped. And don’t forget the on-line crosswords, jigsaw puzzles and – who’s the genius that implemented this? – sudoku. I also need to chat with my friends and Stumble! some. By the way, if you’re not stumbling, then you have no idea how to waste time.
As my co-workers will tell you, there are always cards to be played. One of our key requirements for new hires is that they can shuffle large decks of cards quickly.
The lunch wheel must be spun NOW. Eew, no not that place spin again! No, again! Deciding where to go for lunch can take a good half hour. And after lunch we’re heading over to the bookstore for some research – on novels and comics and craft magazines.
I must checkout the kitchen to make sure there is no new free candy or something. I need to get countless bottles of water and cups of coffee. I need to stand around the brewing coffee pot and shoot the shit with my friends. Oh and now I have to pee 20 times in a day because of all the coffee and water I just drank.
I’m sorry that I fell asleep in that meeting last week. I forgot my laptop so I could hide behind it and plan my next 5 vacations. It takes serious scheduling to get 5 weeks of vacation out of the 3 weeks I’m given. Now that’s time management!
I’ve got phone calls to make, evites to check, appointments to schedule and errands to run. There are TV shows to review, video games to play, parties to plan, and websites to write. And someone should really solve that Rubik’s cube, it’s been sitting unfinished for a couple of hours now.
Don’t go on vacation, because then I’ll have to deface your cube in some way, and that takes planning. Do you know how long it takes to collect enough post-it notes to cover your entire workspace? Coming up with an original idea is just too much work, better to just google it and steal someone else’s prank.
Whew, I’m tired. I think tomorrow I’ll work from home.
* If you’re my boss and you’re reading this. It’s all a joke. Really. Besides, don’t you have a meeting to go to or something?
Dec
5
Sibling rivalry
Filed Under Parenting, Remembering | 1 Comment
Do you remember all the horrible things you used to do to your siblings? I do. I used to get earwax on my finger and tell my brother it was candy. He would fall for it every. single. time. We also used to pin each other down by sitting on each other’s stomach and holding the arms down with our knees. Once you were pinned, the pinner would sing “I’m never gonna stop… I’m never gonna stop…”
When we got older the torture evolved into a much more sinister affair. We used to fold each other up in the sofa bed and then make the couch up like nothing had happened. Inevitably the muffled screaming from the cushions was a dead giveaway and the victim was soon freed. My dad used to actually help us lock each other in the trunk of a car. Granted, that had to take some amount of masochism, why else would you allow the trunk to be closed while you were in it?
Still later after I was in college, my two younger brothers kept at it. One day, the elder of the two placed an M-80 – that he had painstakingly constructed by scraping the gun powder out of about 94 million black cats – into the mailbox. Then he screamed at the top of his lungs for his brother, “You got some mail!” I’m not sure exactly why the younger of the two actually fell for it, or how the torturer actually timed it perfectly so that when the box was open, the bomb exploded.
I also came home from college one day to find my brothers in the street lighting a wad of black cats that they had stuffed into a hole bored in my cabbage patch kid’s head. Ahhh, the good old days.
Alexis is still an only child and Chris and I feel it is our duty to make sure that she is educated in proper torture techniques. Her education began with the ever popular “Your epidermis is showing.” We then moved on to the pinning and tickling game. And you already read about how my mother stuffs her in a sleeping bag and carries her around.
But you know what the best part about her “education” is? We can’t get in trouble for it. Cuz this time we’re the parents!!!!
Nov
29
For Sale: Tree Making Kit
Filed Under Crafting, Selling, Sewing | 2 Comments
I can’t understand why these beauties have not just flown off the (virtual) shelves. I listed them in my Etsy store about 2 weeks ago, and while they have been in a few treasuries, and have a fair amount of views and hearts, they seem to just be lost in the crowd. Do people just not have time to make crafts during the holiday season anymore? I hope not! Crafting at Christmas is one of the few things that keeps me sane!
Nov
28
Piles of Projects
Filed Under Crafting, Knitting | 2 Comments
You should see the sewing room. The Christmas projects (and other stuff, too) are just piled around the circumference of the room. I’m NEVER going to get it cleaned out. Never. Ever. I’m also never going to get to the projects that are for me. So, let’s see, I have 4 pairs of jammies to make, a set of spa pillow thingies, a makeup bag (me), a pile of stockings I swear I’m going to list on Etsy, and numerous other things.
Last night I just made myself sit down in there and start sewing. I did get some dishtowels done. Eight of them to be precise. I’ve also made some progress on one of the sleeves of my new sweater. I’ve only ripped the entire thing out once.
But I’m getting extremely frustrated. I cannot get a good picture of any of this stuff. Oh, sure, I could drag out the light tent and the spotlights, but ugh. I don’t want to! I hate that stuff. And as if getting good lighting weren’t bad enough, I CANNOT. STOP. SHAKING. Every damn picture is blurry.
I also finished these little tacks ages ago, but they’re so cute I wanted to show them off anyway. Trust me, you don’t want to know how many pictures of them I took before finding a decent one. Let’s just say my camera needs new batteries.
Nov
24
Flu Flack
Filed Under Ranting | 3 Comments
I’ve been getting a lot of negative responses to my flu post. According to these readers, I’m pushing people who are on the fence about getting the shot to make the decision not to. Apparently this is a bad thing. They say I am going about trying to convince people not to get a shot the wrong way. They say I am using scare tactics and that I handled it badly. I didn’t write the story to handle anything.
I wrote the post with the sole reason of telling people my story. I never said that anyone shouldn’t get a flu shot. I told my story in the hopes that people who were looking for information on the flu shot would find both sides of the argument. I told my story as a way to face what happened in full. I told my story because it’s interesting.
I want people to THINK about what they are putting into their body before blindly following the sheep to the slaughterhouse. THINK about what’s in that shot. Did you know it has mercury, formaldehyde, and steroids in it? This video is meant to be funny, but it’s also informative. And sad though it may be, his version of the flu shot might actually be more effective than the actual vaccine because it contains the ACTUAL STRAIN that is out there. Did you know that the flu shot given is just antibodies against 3 PREDICTED strains. As if all the chemicals weren’t bad enough, now we’re throwing ESP into the mix.
If propaganda isn’t your style, then maybe this is something to think about. There are years when the flu shot is in short supply, and the people that REALLY should get a shot can’t because Joe Blow down the street got a shot even though he’s not in any of the risk groups. I cited the CDC when I said that the shot is meant for people with a high risk of complications from contracting influenza.
People who should get vaccinated each year are:
- People at high risk for complications from the flu, including:
- Children aged 6 months until their 5th birthday,
- Pregnant women,
- People 50 years of age and older, and
- People of any age with certain chronic medical conditions;
- People who live in nursing homes and other long term care facilities.
- People who live with or care for those at high risk for complications from flu.
Believe it or not, I’m not one of those people who refuses to vaccinate her children. Honestly, for most diseases that have an immunization it’s a really good idea. I mean, do we really want to reintroduce Polio or Diptheria back into the populations. Hell no. But the flu (and chicken pox) rarely kills individuals who are young and healthy to start with.
But you know what? The bottom line is that this is MY website, MY blog, and MY story to tell. And that’s really all the justification and explaination I should need.