Alexis brought homework home for a parent tonight. It was this grid thing with letters down one side and numbers across the top, and pictures drawn in some of the squares. There were 4 questions (plus a bonus question worth 200 points). Each question was really just a “what is in square A3?” type of thing. Well, I made Chris do the homework, because well, I already played the subtraction card game with her — which was actually hard and kinda fun, but I digress.

So Chris answers all of the questions with her standing over his shoulder coaching him. When he finishes (and the bonus question was hard I tell ya — it was a trick question — there is no cell E1!) she looks at him and snatches the page and says, “I’m going to grade it now.” Which she does with very little fanfare.

As it turns out she was actually supposed to return this parental homework, but she left it sitting on the computer desk between us. I picked it up to take it to her homework bag — don’t ask me, I don’t know why they don’t just use a folder — when I noticed the grade she gave Chris.


Seriously. I guess he passed.

Alexis has been practicing reading the story of Jesus’ birth. It’s a tradition in our family to read that passage instead of saying grace before the Christmas Eve meal. The youngest member of the family who is able to read is the lector.

When she finished reading the passage tonight, Chris asked her if she knew what the book she was reading from was. Smartly, she closes the book and reads the title aloud. “The Chocolate Living Bible”

That’s my girl!

Yesterday Chris and I had this conversation… I had considered writing based on the conversation, but it is just so damn funny as is. And before people start bitching about goofing off at work, John told us to yesdterday. In a meeting. With slides and everything.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent gift recipients

me: godI could so easily spend $75 on yarn to get free shippingno comment?Chris: nope, I understand how that worksme: :)wellI put the fawn in the cart  then went looking for kid friendly machine washable wool…found it$10/skein… 1 skein per kidChris: cool me: so that’s like 35 bucksbut then… I started lamenting giving my new petting yarn awayeven though I bought it for xxxxxxxChris: there is a blog in here somewhereme: oh godyou’re rightexcept your mom reads itso the question iscan I justify spending $44 on yarn that I will likely just pet?Chris: in the long run….  it’s cheaper than a cat me: LMAO  that is so greatI just want you to tell me to buy it even though I was bitching about money this morningChris: thank you, I’ll be here all week, enjoy the buffetbuy it even though you were bitching about money this morningme: hehdid you cut and paste?;)Chris: pretty muchhighlighted and draggedme: I’ll probably kick myself on 1/1… but I can pet my new cat and feel betterChris: definitely a blog in thisme: good thing google auto saves these conversations

Last night while we were watching the end of the democratic primaries, one of the candidates – I can’t remember who – said “… but first we are Americans.”

Alexis sits up and looks at the TV incredulously, and spouts, “Um, duuuh. First we are babies.”

Alexis does this thing that totally cracks me up. She’ll be sitting upstairs in the loft happily tearing the place apart and watching TV when all of a sudden some infomercial catches her attention. A few seconds later I hear “I WANT <fill in junk product for $19.95 here>!” Every. single. time. it makes me giggle. I’m not sure why.

She’s even gone so far as to bring me the 800 number written in orange marker on the back of my credit card bill. I stared at it and wondered how she remembered such a long number when she can’t even remember her birthday. Without me even asking she spouts, “I paused the TiVo and wrote down the number for you momma so you can buy me this.” Never mind that it’s for Betty Crocker’s green bags, a product that keeps your vegetables and fruits fresh for up to 40 days! (She informed my mother and I of that little fact in the car on the way home from San Antonio on Sunday.)

I now have a stack of 800 numbers written by her that is at least 10 deep. I don’t even know what any of them are for because she only writes the number, never the name of the product. Yet, I can’t throw them away because pausing the TiVo to write down the number is just too ingenious, and I know some day I will look at those papers and laugh even harder than I am already.

I know at least one of those numbers is for another Betty Crocker product. Some sort of cake decorating kit. We tried to explain to her that we already own everything that they ship in the kit. She looked at us and said, “but if you order within the next 15 minutes it comes complete with a storage box!”  She might be watching too much TV.

← Newer PostsOlder Posts →